I Don't Believe in Fairies: What it's Like Growing up Bisexual

As a child, Disney’s Hook was one of my favourite movies. When Peter Panning first meets Tinkerbell, he refuses to believe that fairies are real. For those of you who don’t know, every time somebody says that they don’t believe in fairies, one dies. I always laughed at that part. It wasn’t until a little later in my life that I could truly empathize with how Tink and her fellow fairies felt.

I can’t say that I always knew I was different, but I figured myself out earlier than most. I knew what I was before I knew the word “bisexual”, but I acknowledged my sexual orientation at the age of 12. As a child with an extreme case of synaptic exuberance, I came up with the bright idea to come out of the closet. The result? Well, let me put it this way; fairies have wings to escape unfortunate circumstances, I was 4’9 with the stubby legs to match.

As you might imagine, this experience sent me high-tailing it for the warm, dark closet until the ripe old age of 14 when I didn’t quite give a damn about the opinions of others. I dealt with different variations of harassment, ranging from carving heterosexist slurs in my locker to a full-out physical assault. People tossed their words in my direction and I brushed them off the best that I could, but one particular set of words cut into me like shards of glass; bisexuality doesn’t exist, you’re either gay or you’re not so make a choice.

In spite of the fact that it’s not the most offensive sentence in the world, it did quite a number on my pathetic teenage self-esteem. It obviously hurts to hear the common misconceptions about bisexuals such as “all bisexuals are promiscuous”, but this definitely took the proverbial cake on the scale of emotional pain. Many people hold certain preconceived notions about bisexuals which make it difficult for us to live comfortably in society.

Bisexuals are kind of in the centre area where they are unwanted by everyone. Heterosexual people don’t want to be with us in fear of us leaving them for the same sex; because of this, one would assume that they could find comfort within the GLBTQ community. For the most part this is true, but there are many gay people who mirror the feelings of some heterosexuals; they want nothing to do with us because they don’t want us to leave them for the opposite sex. When I first came to this realization, I was confused and angry. I expected to encounter solace and acceptance in the arms of those who understand what it’s like to be discriminated against, but I was met with the same adversity.

Every time somebody says “I don’t believe in fairies”, a fairy dies. Every time somebody says “bisexuals don’t exist” it’s not like one dies, but it’s definitely a huge kick in the teeth. We may not have wings (in spite of how convenient they would be) or die when you deny our existence, but we have feelings. I have feelings. I did not choose to be bisexual; it’s not like I woke up one morning and said “hey, how great would it be to be considered a whore and not get taken seriously by anybody?” I don’t think anybody would choose to be discriminated against. So throw away your biases, open your hearts and minds…and please, believe in the real life fairies of society. We could certainly use it.