Kids These Days

Throughout my entire life I have always been praised for my intelligence. No, seriously. My teachers (rather, the ones who weren’t out to get me) were constantly impressed by my knowledge, ability to learn and wide vocabulary. All of this obviously went to my head and I considered myself a genius, wise beyond my years (I’ll let you all finish laughing out loud). It wasn’t until recently I managed to drag my head from my ass and climb off of my high horse. I’ve realized that I’m not wise beyond my years; everyone else my age is merely far behind theirs. Yeah, I said it.

For those of you who know me or have witnessed me in a public or private setting, I’m your regular run-of-the-mill ditz. I walk into walls, say really stupid things that you’d assume would come from a movie character and laugh at things that aren’t really all that funny. Other than that though, I’m pretty average intelligence-wise for my age; I really wish I could say the same thing about the rest of my generation. Back in the good old days, the average teenager was expected to have around 25 000 words in their vocabulary (thank you, Google). Currently, it consists of grunts, colloquialisms and the odd prejudiced slur here and there to establish popularity and “coolness”. It’s beginning to get ridiculous.

I will never understand the appeal of making yourself seems less intelligent than a Neanderthal. When you say “yo g, whatchu sayin’ today”, you’re actually saying “hello there, I’m a useless delinquent and I’m never going to amount to anything”. As one could imagine, Microsoft word imploded due to that previous “sentence”. Seriously though, when you speak in such a way it does nothing good for you; it makes everybody you encounter perceive you as unintelligent and ignorant to your own language. If you’re going to say “well I don’t care about what other people think of me”, please save it. Yes you do. If you didn’t care what other people thought of you, you wouldn’t buy into the pop culture of destroying the English language.

When it really comes down to it, since the majority of teenagers have such a limited vocabulary and talk like dumbasses it makes all teenagers look like dumbasses. I know that I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the fact that so many people my age can only aspire to be as intelligent as I am is beyond pathetic. Please, I implore you; read a dictionary and expand your lexicon. Just remember, UrbanDictionary doesn’t count.