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Monday, September 12, 2011

I Am Pro-Logic

Lately I have heard a lot of talk about the whole "Pro-Life" and "Pro-Choice" debate. For the longest time I told myself, "no way, not going to touch that with a ten foot pole" and I carried on my merry way. Of course, being the type of person I am (argumentative and full of opinions that nobody gives a damn about), I say what the hell. I'll join in the fun and bring in the Pro-Logic perspective.

I would like to point out that there are more people out there than I can count who have absolutely no business having children. They pop them out like they're pez because the idea of having a child is so romantic and they believe they can raise them to be a little toy doll. Babies aren't easy. I say this from 15 years of baby cousins and diaper changes and SCREAMING infants. If you think they are, you're kidding yourself. On top of that, PREGNANCY isn't easy. This is 9 months of morning sickness, diet restrictions, vitamins, doctor's appointments, ultrasounds (and if you live in the States none of that is cheap) and sheer stress.

"Oh! But if they didn't want a child they shouldn't have opened their legs!" Correct. However, asking a sack of hormones to abstain doesn't work. We can see that from all the young girls who have NO SEX EDUCATION and were told to abstain. You know what you do to prevent pregnancy? REALISTICALLY? You educate and provide them with affordable and accessible birth control. What happens from there happens and every option under the sun should be there for these women. Should abortion be used as birth control? No, but we have a choice between women using it as such and popping out children that they (not to mention our world) cannot handle.

"Oh, but there's adoption!" First of all, see "9 months of inconvenience, discomfort and excruciating pain". Second of all, no, there often isn't. I was one of a very small margin of children who get adopted because my biological mother entered into a private adoption. Not everyone can afford that and many children that are in the system are there because they were taken from them by CPS. Every day that goes by that a child does not get adopted, the less desirable they become. Once you're over one year old, you become undesirable. People. Want. Newborns. There are millions of children living in foster care and in the system and a large number of them NEVER find a family and age out. Many of these people who age out of the system often resort to a life of crime; if you go visit a prison, you'll find that a good majority of the prisoners there did not have a stable family life and were often in foster care until they turned 18.

Unless a child is put into a private adoption, there is NO guarantee that they will ever find a family. They could jump from home to home for the rest of their young lives and that is not emotionally healthy at all. Children require stability; children who are put into the system rarely receive it. On top of that, adoption can be VERY stressful for all parties involved. A biological parent may never want to meet their child but their child feels differently, or vice versa. Then the adoptive parents end up feeling neglected in the event their child goes looking for answers. There are very few cases in which nobody gets hurt.

When I searched for my birthmother, everyone got hurt the first time around. My mom resented me for bringing her into my life, but it was something I had to do for myself. We weren't on speaking terms for WEEKS. She felt as if she were being replaced, even though that was never the case. If given the opportunity, I would NEVER give my child up for adoption. It pained my birthmother for years before I found her. That somebody else was parenting me and watching me grow up. That I was calling someone ELSE "mom".

You try and say, "well, it's for the best of the child. They're better off" and then move on with your own life, but it's not just about the child's well being. It's carrying this little piece of you inside yourself for 9 whole months. Changing your life drastically for that life to be created happy and healthy. Going through hours of pain, millions upon millions of thoughts going through your head about the safety of your child. When they're finally born, you see their beautiful face and sooner than you'd like you watch that face as it's taken out the door. It's the closest thing to having your heart ripped from your chest. I wouldn't wish that kind of emotional pain on my worst enemy, let alone myself.

When it comes down to it, it is no concern of anyone else what a woman decides to do. However, I would much rather hear about 100 women going to an abortion clinic than one "mother" leaving her child unattended in a dangerous, baby-toxic home, or leaving them with a family member so THEY can get their childhood back. That is not a life I would ever want for any child. You don't GET a life until they move out on their own and start their own families; and by then your children ARE your life. If you decide to keep a child when you are still a child yourself, wave goodbye to your youth because your time in the sun is done. Your child IS the sun. If you can't accept that, should you really be bringing a child into this world? We have enough children already who are being raised by incapable people and very little resource left to take care of them. Our world is overpopulated. Let's take care of the kids we've GOT before we pop more out.