I Am Pro-Logic

Lately I have heard a lot of talk about the whole "Pro-Life" and "Pro-Choice" debate. For the longest time I told myself, "no way, not going to touch that with a ten foot pole" and I carried on my merry way. Of course, being the type of person I am (argumentative and full of opinions that nobody gives a damn about), I say what the hell. I'll join in the fun and bring in the Pro-Logic perspective.

I would like to point out that there are more people out there than I can count who have absolutely no business having children. They pop them out like they're pez because the idea of having a child is so romantic and they believe they can raise them to be a little toy doll. Babies aren't easy. I say this from 15 years of baby cousins and diaper changes and SCREAMING infants. If you think they are, you're kidding yourself. On top of that, PREGNANCY isn't easy. This is 9 months of morning sickness, diet restrictions, vitamins, doctor's appointments, ultrasounds (and if you live in the States none of that is cheap) and sheer stress.

"Oh! But if they didn't want a child they shouldn't have opened their legs!" Correct. However, asking a sack of hormones to abstain doesn't work. We can see that from all the young girls who have NO SEX EDUCATION and were told to abstain. You know what you do to prevent pregnancy? REALISTICALLY? You educate and provide them with affordable and accessible birth control. What happens from there happens and every option under the sun should be there for these women. Should abortion be used as birth control? No, but we have a choice between women using it as such and popping out children that they (not to mention our world) cannot handle.

"Oh, but there's adoption!" First of all, see "9 months of inconvenience, discomfort and excruciating pain". Second of all, no, there often isn't. I was one of a very small margin of children who get adopted because my biological mother entered into a private adoption. Not everyone can afford that and many children that are in the system are there because they were taken from them by CPS. Every day that goes by that a child does not get adopted, the less desirable they become. Once you're over one year old, you become undesirable. People. Want. Newborns. There are millions of children living in foster care and in the system and a large number of them NEVER find a family and age out. Many of these people who age out of the system often resort to a life of crime; if you go visit a prison, you'll find that a good majority of the prisoners there did not have a stable family life and were often in foster care until they turned 18.

Unless a child is put into a private adoption, there is NO guarantee that they will ever find a family. They could jump from home to home for the rest of their young lives and that is not emotionally healthy at all. Children require stability; children who are put into the system rarely receive it. On top of that, adoption can be VERY stressful for all parties involved. A biological parent may never want to meet their child but their child feels differently, or vice versa. Then the adoptive parents end up feeling neglected in the event their child goes looking for answers. There are very few cases in which nobody gets hurt.

When I searched for my birthmother, everyone got hurt the first time around. My mom resented me for bringing her into my life, but it was something I had to do for myself. We weren't on speaking terms for WEEKS. She felt as if she were being replaced, even though that was never the case. If given the opportunity, I would NEVER give my child up for adoption. It pained my birthmother for years before I found her. That somebody else was parenting me and watching me grow up. That I was calling someone ELSE "mom".

You try and say, "well, it's for the best of the child. They're better off" and then move on with your own life, but it's not just about the child's well being. It's carrying this little piece of you inside yourself for 9 whole months. Changing your life drastically for that life to be created happy and healthy. Going through hours of pain, millions upon millions of thoughts going through your head about the safety of your child. When they're finally born, you see their beautiful face and sooner than you'd like you watch that face as it's taken out the door. It's the closest thing to having your heart ripped from your chest. I wouldn't wish that kind of emotional pain on my worst enemy, let alone myself.

When it comes down to it, it is no concern of anyone else what a woman decides to do. However, I would much rather hear about 100 women going to an abortion clinic than one "mother" leaving her child unattended in a dangerous, baby-toxic home, or leaving them with a family member so THEY can get their childhood back. That is not a life I would ever want for any child. You don't GET a life until they move out on their own and start their own families; and by then your children ARE your life. If you decide to keep a child when you are still a child yourself, wave goodbye to your youth because your time in the sun is done. Your child IS the sun. If you can't accept that, should you really be bringing a child into this world? We have enough children already who are being raised by incapable people and very little resource left to take care of them. Our world is overpopulated. Let's take care of the kids we've GOT before we pop more out.

Quote of the Week

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." — George Bernard Shaw

Quote of the Week

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them anyway." - Marilyn Monroe

My Story pt. II

So yesterday I managed to make a bit of progress in the search for my biological father. I stopped by the library after a couple wonderful people suggested that I go (thank you all) and check out the directories. I found out that the Toronto directories go back to the 1850s and they were even separated by region. After looking through all of the names beginning with "T" and ending in "opoulos", I found 25 possibilities. It might sound like a lot but let's remember that Toronto is a pretty big place.

The names that I found came with addresses and the names of the owners in 1991, but to protect the people who live there I won't be listing the address. If you recognize any of the names from somebody who lived in the Beaches, please don't hesitate to e-mail me at katherine.t.spain@gmail.com. I will be adding his name to the surnames just in case that helps.

1. Chris Takopoulos
2. Chris Tambakopoulos
3. Chris Tasopoulos
4. Chris Tasslopoulos
5. Chris Tassopoulos
6. Chris Tatsiopoulos
7. Chris Tatsopoulos
8. Chris Theodoropoulos
9. Chris Theodorakopoulos
10. Chris Theodoracopoulos
11. Chris Traianopoulos
12. Chris Trajanopoulos
13. Chris Triantafilopoulos
14. Chris Triantafelopoulos
15. Chris Tryphonopoulos
16. Chris Tsalakopoulos
17. Chris Tsalacopoulos
18. Chris Tsitsopoulos
19. Chris Theofilopoulos
20. Chris Theoharopoulos
21. Chris Theophilopoulos
22. Chris Theopoulos
23. Chris Thilippacopoulos
24. Chris Tzakopoulos
25. Chris Tzimopoulos

I know it's a long list of names, but that's what I found. Any information is helpful.

My Story pt. I

As many of my friends and readers know, I am adopted. Two years ago I found my biological mother, Katie; we had a rocky start but now we have a close relationship. Now that I'm 18 I have decided to commence the search for my biological father, Chris. This has been a difficult search because I don't know what his last name is, so unfortunately I've had to use atypical means.

I began my search on craigslist, which is where I found Katie (believe it or not). It tends to get a bad reputation but craigslist can really be helpful; I would strongly recommend to those searching for family (assuming they know their full names)that they give craigslist a shot. I expected my search for Katie to go on for at least a year but within 24 hours of posting a woman named Darlene responded and found Katie within the week.

Because the internet is an extremely useful tool, I've decided to use it as my main source of searching. In a sort of "six degrees of separation" experiment, I've concluded that I'm bound to find somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows him. While I haven't had any luck as of yet, I keep in mind that it takes some people years before they even find information on who they're looking for; I've only been at it for a month or so.

I live in Toronto, Ontario Canada and the search is occurring within the GTA. What I know about Chris is that his last name begins with a "T" and ends with the Greek suffix "opoulos" (spelling may vary). He worked in a bindery, lived in the Beaches and apparently has a strong resemblance to me (except with blue eyes instead of green). Technically speaking he could be anywhere, but knowing that he lived in the Beaches at the time I was born is enough to keep me searching here for now.

I'm going to do my best to update this blog on how my search is going. The only way I can find him is with a little bit of luck, the kindness of strangers and spreading the word as far as it can go. This is my story, take it as you will; if anybody has any information, do not hesitate to contact me at katherine.t.spain@gmail.com. Anything is helpful and support is always appreciated.

Quote of the week

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe

Quote of the Week

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that
brings peace." - Buddha